Hope Fades
by Gandalf3213
Summary: Chad has cancer. Troy tries to be there for him. There's always supposed to be hope, right? What if one day there is no hope? Is there still a point to living?
1. Questions and Pain

**Yeah, it's another one. I still don't own High School Musical**

_"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival." C. S. Lewis _

Leukemia.

Four months ago I didn't know how to spell the word. I didn't know that it meant cancer. I didn't know that my best friend had it.

But today isn't four months ago.

I quit basketball, but dad understood. It wasn't the end of the world anymore. I still had singing. But that wasn't the reason why I quit. The reason was that Chad wasn't there. I couldn't get back into the rythem and my head couldn't get back in the game.

Today is January 8th. The day of the championchip basketball game. And I'm sitting on the sidelines between Gabriella and Chad. This picture is so wrong.

Chad looks so different from four months ago. He already went through his first round of chemo, and his hair was gone. That was one thing I couldn't get over. Chad had such wierd looking hair, almost like a bush. It was all gone now, and in its place was a bandana that said "Go Wildcats."

He was also thinner. We were both wearing our uniforms and Chad's, which used to fit just right and show all his muscles, was now hanging loose and baggy.

Taylor had an arm around his waist, and if she could help him just by holding on. It'd been tough on all of us to see Chad go through this. Tough to see the fun-loving, happy-go-lucky spirit sucked out of him as days and weeks of chemotherepy passed.

But his eyes were the same. They still had hope. His eyes would always be the same.

The game doesn't mean much anymore. Funny, right? How a year ago this was my entire life. I was a different person then. Younger, naive, and so happy to be that way. I'd give anything to go back.

Zeke made the first basket eight seconds into the game. He became captain, reluctantly, after both of us stopped. He took over the team with more sence of responsibility than Chad would have and a cooler head than mine. He was a good leader. Chad looked at me and I could see in his eyes how much he missed the game. He had loved it so much, and it was taken away from him.

There was something else in his eyes. Something that, until four months ago, I had rarely seen.

Pain.

He was hurting. Physically, something was hurting my best friend. My hands were in fists at my sides. If it had been a person, something tangible, I would have hit it without giving anything a second thought. But I couldn't even see my advisary. He was invisible.

Leukemia. He was our invisible enemy, and I don't know if we're going to win this one.

**Reviews are nice.**


	2. Games and Ambulances

**I own it not.**

_"Never injure a friend, even in jest." Cicero _

**Four Months Before...**

"Chad, heads up!"

Chad looked up and deftly caught the ball, putting in through the net in the same motion. The buzzer sounded, causing him to barely jump. He hadn't known the game was so close to the end.

Whoops of joy from his team, accompanied by pats on the back and high fives. Chad tried to smile at them, looking up at the scoreboard. This was just a practice game. A scrimmage. But he was glad that his team had won.

Troy, the captain of the opposing team, came over, a grin stretching across his face. "That was a great game!" he yelled, causing Chad to wince and look down. Yelling was the last thing he needed right now.

"We're going to have a great year!" Zeke came over, joining the group and bringing along Jason. "First games against Middleton. We're going to cream them for sure!" More yelling. Chad put his hands against his ears.

"You okay man? You don't look so hot." Chad couldn't even look up at Troy. He was suddenly so tired. He needed to lie down.

A strong arm pressed up against his body as he started to sag. He looked into Troy's worried eyes. What was wrong with him?

Chad stood up straight, his legs feeling like Jello. The rest of the group had faces that mirrored Troy's. Any other time Chad would have made a joke, brushed it off. Now he found himself leaning heavily against Troy's arm, grateful for the support.

"I'm fine guys." Chad said weakly before his legs gave out. He collapsed on the gym floor.

Troy bent over Chad, words coming out of his mouth before the situation even registered in his brain. "Coach. Coach! Dad!" He was shaking Chad, tears blocking his vision. What was going on?

Strong hands pried Troy's off of Chad. Zeke caught him as he stood up, holding him firm. "It's okay man. He's alright." Zeke was muttering more words into Troy's ear. Meaningless words that somehow helped more then Troy could ever say.

Minutes later, and ambulance screeched into the parking lot. By that time Chad was conscious, but weak, unable to lift himself off of the floor. They loaded him into the ambulance.

Troy got in before his dad could object. "We'll meet you at the hospital!" Zeke promised before the door slammed shut.

**Reviews are nice...**


	3. Waiting and News

**I so wish I own it.**

_Laugh until you cry. Love as though you've never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on Earth. Tyco Marshal_

Troy was pacing the hallway that ran between the waiting room and the room the doctors had brought Chad into. He, Zeke, and his father were the only ones left. The rest of the team would have stayed but they went home after Coach had promised to tell them the outcome.

"What's going on?" Zeke looked worried, his eyebrows drawn close together. "I've been thinking for the past two hours and I've come up with nothing." He was scared now, his voice growing higher. "I mean, Chad doesn't do drugs, does he?"

"No way." Troy said automatically. It couldn't be drugs. Chad wasn't that stupid. Right?

Since they had gotten there, Troy's heart had been beating double-time. Chad was his best friend in the entire world. He'd been the one Troy went to for advice on girls. Chad was Tory's partner in basketball. He'd even rigged the whole school (with Taylor's help) so he could go to callbacks for the musical last winter.

A scream behind him made Troy turn around. Gabriella and Taylor were running towards them, both with very frightened looks.

"We just heard." Gabriella breathed, her hand snaking around Troy's waist. "How is he?"

"We haven't heard anything yet." Zeke said. Taylor looked like she was about to cry. Zeke looked surprised, glanced at Troy, then wrapped his arms around her as the tears came. "I'm sorry." He muttered, looking up and catching Troy's eye.

Gabriella brushed Troy's hair away from his face. "How're you holding up."

"I'm fine." Troy said quickly. He was fine, right? Really, he wasn't the one who'd collapsed during practice. He was fine.

Gabriella stood on tip-toe so she could whisper right into Troy's ear. "I don't believe you."

Troy choked then. He felt his eyes burn. His throat was on fire. Why the heck was he crying? He didn't even know what was wrong yet. He swallowed hard, making sure the tears didn't fall. He wouldn't cry. Not in front of the girls and Zeke.

A doctor came out of the room. The four of them looked up and Mr. Bolton came over. "What is it doctor?" he asked quickly.

The doctor looked around expectantly. "Are his parents here?" They shook their heads no and Troy explained. "His oldest brother plays ball for Penn State. They went there for the week."

The man seemed worried. "I'm supposed to talk to the parents first..."

"He's staying with us this week. If anything is wrong with him I should know." Mr. Bolton looked angry. Troy couldn't figure out why.

The doctor nodded. "Okay then." He looked between the people in the group, his eyes sad. "I'm sorry. Mr. Danforth has cancer. He has leukemia."

**Review?**


	4. Talks and Trust

_**I own nothing**_

_Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.-- Anonymous_

Troy pushed past the doctor and ran into the room. He stopped shot, looking at Chad who sat on the side of the bed, looking smaller then Troy remembered. He looked up when Troy entered and smiled tiredly. "Hey."

"Hey." Troy sat on the edge of Chad's bed, looking at him carefully.

Chad's smile grew wider. "I'm not going to die, Troy." Tears glistened in Chad's eyes and Troy scooted himself closer to his friend, wrapping his arms around his friend.

"'Sokay." Troy muttered, pressing his face deep into his friend's hair. "We'll get over this. You'll be okay." Troy didn't know whether he was trying to comfort Chad or himself. Either way it wasn't working too well.

The friends sat there for a moment. Chad took in a deep, shuddering breath and pushed himself away from Troy. Without looking at him, he questioned quietly, "Am I?"

"Are you what, Chad?" Troy's voice was quiet, his hand on Chad's back. He was jumpy. He hated hospitals, for reasons he could never explain to himself.

Chad gulped and looked away. "Am I going to die?"

At any other point, earlier in the day or week, Troy would have laughed. Here he knew his friend was serious, too serious. "Not if I can help it." Troy said fiercly. "They aren't taking you yet, Chad." Troy promised. "We'll fight this."

Taylor walked into the room then, Gabriella on her heels, dragging Zeke behind her. Taylor had been recently crying and seeing Chad brought the tears back. She collapsed into his amrs, hugging him while he muttered to her, "It's okay. I'm okay. Don't worry about this, Taylor."

Gabriella slipped a hand into Troy's. Zeke looked at Troy and smiled a little. "They were explaining this." He informed Troy. "Gabbi's going to do some more research, but it's a cancer of the blood. Chad's going to need something called Chemotherapy. It might help him get better, but it'll make him worse first."

Troy made a face at his Zeke. "You're not helping, you know."

Gabriella stood on tip-toes to kiss him just as Troy's dad entered the room. He looked between the girls and Troy and finally Chad. "Girls," he said, cleaing his throat. "I think you should leave." Taylor looked about to protest but Gabriella shushed her, and, after another quick kiss, both girls left. "Zeke," Mr. Bolton said, turning to him, "You too."

Zeke looked at Troy, who nodded slightly. He clapped a hand on Chad's shoulder before leaving, closing the door softly behind him.

Mr. Bolton looked at Chad, who turned away, his dark face turning greenish. "Chad, don't worry, you're coming home with us. They just need to do a test or two beforehand." Mr. Bolton's voice was soothing, and as a nurse came in to take some blood Chad concentrated on the adult, who didn't stop talking, saying anything that came to mind. Anything to keep Chad's mind off the present.

Troy helped Chad up and the two of them walked out of the room, Troy's arm around his friend's shoulders. He whispered something to Chad, making him smile. Chad whispered something back, the words barely audible to Mr. Bolton.

"I trust you, Troy."

**Review?**


	5. Pain and Promises

_**I don't own it.**_

_To love another person is to see the face of God - Les Miserabes_

Troy sat next to his friend, watching as the boy's hands tightened on the thin hospital sheets, his eyes closed tightly from the pain. As the nurse had said, it wasn't really the cancer that caused pain, it was the treatment.

Right now Troy wanted to leap out of the chair and hug his friend tightly, making sure that no-one came near enough to hurt him again. He wanted to fight the thing that was causing him pain. That was impossible, and it made Troy feel so _helpless_.

"Troy." Chad muttered, his eyes opening as the pain withdrew for a moment. "You still here?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm right here." Troy's hand groped for his Chad's. Chad's whole body was shaking, and Troy held the hand tightly, like a life-line.

Chad bit his lip. "'M Sorry." He said quietly, just before another wave of pain hit him. His eyes closed again and he breathed in a ragged breath.

"Listen to me." Troy placed his other arm on Chad. "You have nothing to be sorry about. Don't worry. I'm here." Chad gasped as more pain racked his thin body.

Troy sighed. Chemo, or chemical therapy, was the most effective way of treating the cancer that Chad had. This hospital had seven patients between the ages of eleven and nineteen with the same disease. Chad had joined their ranks two weeks ago, and already he had lost a lot of weight. Troy visited him as often as he could, often joined by Gabriella, Taylor, and Zeke after school.

Chad put his head back down, a hiccup leaving his lips as he tried not to cry out with the pain. He hurt so much. He just wanted to sleep. He was so tired.

"'M tired Troy."

"I know buddy." Troy felt tears pricking his own eyes as he watched Chad shudder, trying desperately not to let on how bad he was hurting. "You sleep tomorrow, baby. No drugs tomorrow."

"I know." Chad said it with the tired sort of happiness that came on a Friday morning when you know you just have school for one more day before the weekend.

Suddenly Chad panicked, his hand gripping Troy tighter. "You'll come tomorrow?" He sounded so young. Troy felt a mass rise in his throat and could only nod for a second.

"Yeah, I'm coming. Taylor and Zeke and Gabriella are coming too." Chad nodded, looking relieved. He never wanted the girls or Zeke there when he was in pain. He didn't want to show them how bad he was hurting.

A wave of pain so bad that Chad cried out came next, and Troy felt his hand being squeezed so hard he felt like it would fall off any second. Troy rested his head on the edge of Chad's bed, saying anything that came to mind, just trying to make sure that Chad stayed with him.

"Stay with me, Troy?" Chad said after a few minutes, and Troy nodded, the tears rolling freely down his face.

"Always, Chad."

**Here's your next chapter. Sorry for the delay.**

**Review?**


	6. Drugs and Hope

**I don't own them.**

_The grand essentials for happiness are: Something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. **Allan K. Chalmers**_

After a solid month of chemotherapy, the doctors at the hospital had let Chad leave, because they'd all come to the same conclusion.

The drugs weren't working.

Leukemia wasn't like having the flu or chicken pox where you saw definite results before your eyes. The way Troy understood it; they took your blood and looked at your white blood cells vs. red blood cells. They were supposed to be about equal. In Chad they weren't. Not even close.

Troy remembered the day a doctor had come into Chad's room. She was short, with black hair and wide green eyes. Dr. Leanne Kline. She had been Chad's doctor since the beginning. Taylor and Gabriella had been in the room, talking to Chad on one of his non-drug days.

"Hello Chad, hi girls." She placed a hand on Troy's shoulder. "How're you doing?" Chad shrugged, his eyes wide. Troy was sure that he was the only one who could see the pain embedded there. The pain that hadn't been there a month ago.

"Your mom around?" Chad nodded 'yes' and said that she had just gone to get something to eat. As soon as the words left his mouth his mom appeared, carrying an apple in one hand.

Troy squirmed uneasily. If what the doctor had to say was important enough to wait for Chad's parents, then it was pretty important. Whether it was good news or bad news was the question.

Mrs. Bolton sat down between Gabriella and Taylor as Dr. Leanne (as she'd told them to call her) took a deep breath. "Yesterday we took some of Chad's blood, to try to monitor the affects of the drugs in his system. Usually we see no results this early...two months or more is probably more likely for a first round."

Troy sat quietly, felt Chad's gaze on him. Troy reached behind him and snagged Chad's free hand. Taylor was holding the other one. Troy felt a _but_ in the doctor's statement. And he was right.

"But in Chad we saw that his white blood cells have gone up even higher in number." She waited for their reaction.

"That's not supposed to happen, is it?" Taylor's voice was quiet, and she leaned down to kiss Chad beneath his bruised eye.

"No, it's not supposed to happen." The room was quiet for a moment as they let the news sink in. Troy felt numb. So much had happened that this piece of information made was barely registered. He felt Chad's hand squeeze his for a second before Chad pulled it away to stand up.

Everyone watched him as he paced the room, his hand automatically going up to push back his non-existent hair. "So...what does that mean?"

The doctor took a deep breath. "It means...you're going to go home. We're going to cut back on the amount of drugs you have, you'll be an outpatient until we find the right drug dose of chemicals."

"Poison." Chad interjected.

"Poison." The doctor agreed. She took in all of them, gaping at her, and ducked her head. "I'm so sorry. Everyone's been rooting for Chad." She put her hand lightly on his shoulder. "Don't lose hope, Chad. That's when bad things start happening."

**Please review.**


	7. School and Friends

_**I own them not.**_

_"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say." -_ **Anon**

School. Chad had never been afraid of it before. As a kindergartener, he was one of the only ones not crying on the first day. That was the day he met Troy. Afterwards, when they came back from summer vacation, Chad was usually eager to go to school. Not for learning, but for the friends that he seemed to make so easily there. Being social came as easily to Chad as breathing, and he had the added bonus of having a sense of humor.

Today was different though. They were almost to November, the leaves on the trees that could live in Arizona heat changing to a dark, musky brown that made the air seem alive with its scent. Autumn had always been Chad's favorite time of year. Now he just wished he could stay home.

Pulling a bandana over his bald head, Chad tried to remember the argument with his parents earlier in the week. They had wanted him to stay home. He was still not 100 from the drugs they had given him at the hospital and his parents saw no reason in going to school in such a condition. Chad had argued with them for almost an hour, eager to go back.

But for what reason? As Chad closed the door to his bedroom, he thought he knew. He wanted to act like a normal teenage. Having leukemia wasn't normal. Going to school was.

Chad tried to smile at his mother as she handed him a piece of toast and eggs. She looked tired. She had looked like this since she'd gotten the news. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. She smiled slightly, handing him two pills. He might not be on poison yet, but these would keep him alive. Supposedly.

Swallowing both the pills and the breakfast in less than two minutes, Chad grabbed his backpack and headed for the door, reaching it the same time as his father. "Hey Chad." The man said quietly, opening the door. They both headed down the front walk.

"Listen, son. If you feel any pain, you come right home, you hear me? School is not worth you dying over."

Chad almost laughed. His parents had always professed that school was the only way to get anywhere in life. This whole situation had made school seem like a joke, with nothing seeming real other than the cancer and the drugs and hospitals.

Chad pulled his backpack the rest of the way on as he started walking. He tried to imagine that he wasn't feeling the pain that started in his back, even when it slowly began creeping up his spine. He was okay. Really. He was normal.

Walking into Troy's house, Chad felt more at peace than he had been in a long time. This was where he belonged, with Troy and Taylor and Gabriella (who were all sitting around Troy's table, as if waiting for him).

No one mentioned cancer or leukemia or anything that they wouldn't have talked about a month ago. Gabriella, who was still in the play after Troy had dropped it, told them how Sharpay had blown up at Ryan once again, only this time he got back at her. By hitting her with blue paint.

Chad laughed, his arm snaking around Taylor's shoulders. This was where he belonged. In between Troy (who was on his other side) and Taylor, with Gabriella and Zeke flanking them. Maybe the six of them could get over this. Why wouldn't they? They had already been through so much. Cancer, and especially high school, shouldn't be a problem.

Troy smiled at Chad. He had been so happy when he heard that his best friend was coming back to school. He could almost forget why he had left it in the first place. And seeing him smile and laugh with the girls should have fortified his conviction that his friend was completely healed. Except that he still saw the pain in Chad's eyes, and the pain wasn't going away.

**Please review.**


End file.
